I get so frustrated when i hear some of my relatives say the phrase “little kids little problems, big kids big problems”. parenting little kids is really hard some days. how do others know what I’m going through? can anyone else relate?
I know exactly what you mean! (I have a 3 year old and 1 year old and taught k-2 for 8 years.) And to be honest, sometimes I catch myself thinking my 3 year old is making a huge deal out of something ridiculously small, just wait until she grows up! But then I stop myself, because that’s not helpful or loving for either of us.
Yes, it is a small deal that she got the green cup and not the red cup, and in the grand scheme of life doesn’t really matter. But in that moment, it matters to her, and how I respond is going to teach her a big life lesson! I could teach her, “Sometimes we might prefer something else, but should be thankful for what we have” (because she needs to know that’s life, so sometimes that’s the result!). But she can also learn to speak calmly and politely and say, “Hey Mommy, I would really like the red cup, can I please switch?” And we can switch!
In either of those moments, whether she likes the outcome or not, responding calmly and meeting her where she is is so important. It’s approaching what seem like “little problems” now that will teach them how to respond to and approach the “big problems” down the road.
Absolutely love your perspective on this!! @ViaGraces And I agree, in the moment, it’s hard to be empathetic because it’s seems a little silly. But if we are able to help our children co-regulate and make sense of their emotions, hopefully it will also help them makes sense and respond in a healthy way later on.
@mom_carly4 I really got annoyed when I heard others say this to me-as if while struggling parenting little kids I should just remember that it only gets harder. Firstly, as my kids have gotten older, I think so many things have gotten easier-they’re not hanging on me 24-7 (only half that lol), they can get themselves water or a snack and those things are huge for my own sanity. Yes it’s true that I’m sure worrying about kids driving or dating or getting into college is hard for parents and are more significant than whether a toddler gets the blue or red cup during breakfast, but it shouldn’t belittle what parents of babies and toddlers feel. It’s easy to remember all the cuteness when the crying and tantrums are behind you, but those things can take a huge toll and there’s NO BREAK. Try to remember that there are many parts of parenting that DO get easier.
sometimes others love giving their expert “advice” that’s just unwanted and not helpful. parenting little kids is really hard. parenting older kids is probably also hard for different reasons, but why the comparison? I’m with you