Baby doesn’t like dad

I’m a FTM and my little one is almost 4mo. My husband works nights, so lately he hasn’t been able to interact with the baby as much.
She will let her dad hold her but won’t let him soothe her at all. As soon as, I get her she calms down. I think it’s really beginning to hurt his feelings/ confidence as a dad.

Anyone have any ideas on how to help strengthen their bond and/or help his confidence?

@laws Hi there! What your describing does sound pretty typical. I think the only piece of advice that I can offer is have your husband spend a lot of time holding and interacting with your daughter when she is calm, fed, and rested. This way, their interactions will be positive. Because my gut tells me that when she’s upset, hungry, or tired, she’ll want her momma :heart:

This has definitely been the case with my baby as well! I was actually more bothered by it than my husband at first, but from friends I’ve spoken to with older kids, they all say it’s totally normal-I guess our babies just get used to the touch and feel and smells of the person taking most care of them and if the father isn’t around as much, baby just doesn’t feel as comfortable. I hear this really does change though.

My 3rd baby was like this!!! I had 2 year old twins when he was born and my husband mostly dealt with them while I took care of the baby. Until he was 2, he barely wanted to look at my husband! Then when he turned 2, it actually completely changed and he just wanted his daddy. I think all of my kids took turns with which parent they each preferred and it changed over time, even day by day.

Hopefully if your husband knows this is really normal it might help make him feel less personally hurt. There are times that a baby even prefers a babysitter to a parent if that’s who is taking care of them. They just used their senses to determine safety and feeling the softness of mommy, your scent etc, obviously makes your baby feel secure. Perhaps he can make videos so she can hear his voice during the day and hold some of his clothing while you feed her? Not sure if this will help, but it could be worth a try.

My husband also work nights but we made sure from day one that my husband should spend time with our daughter as much as he could. He usually gets up an hour or so early so he can play with her … Also, I try if he is home then other than being fed she should be held and soothed by my husband. It has helped a lot.

Hi!! I had the same problem. My baby actually refused to even make eye contact when her father for months!! As she got older they were able to engage more and more in enjoyable activities , had special books or games that were just for the two of them and that helped a lot

1 Like